30-01-2010

I hate the weather in this country, it's wet all the time and I don't like it at all, I have a dog and she is a malinois and like all shepherd she needs to move, ALOT! Which is good for me, but it's not really inspiring when you see the rain falling from the sky, or everytime you go out and it's dry you get surprised after 5 minutes...splash!
Today was such a day, it's totally ruining my schedule... I walk 4 times a day with my dog, fast walking, for my diet.Now 2 weeks ago I was ready to focus on my weightloss. been so busy last months. I lost 13lbs in 2 weeks, which is not too bad. I just need to keep eating healthy and not go crazy on my diet like I did when I was 17.
But I think it's rather impossible I still remember very well how bad I felt and how out of control I was, though I was convinced I had everything in control.

Tomorrow we are going to have the banns publiced (something you do before you can really marry). Stupid thing is we also did this last year, but you can't have more time between intending and really getting married, plus we moved to a different town so than the old one doesn't count. I am still excited weird...

So I got my eyes set on 3 dresses when I get married
dress number 1
I love how it's so pretty not totally white but really my style...It is a bit classic but also modern...
Dress number 2I really like this dress, it is romantic en stylish and it's not white...you know I have a son... so I am definitely not a virgin anymore...and I really like this dress.
Dress number 3....WHITE...typical dress to get married in, still got my doubts though.. 'cause it's white but it looks like a dream dress


Ofcourse all 3 dresses are beautiful and best of all less than 100euro's :) with satin scarf in the same color of your dress, and all are with hoopskirt.Roy would like to marry february 14th I don't know yet... it is romantic ofcourse but maybe a bit too cocky for my standards haha.well enough about my marriage plans!
Tomorrow I will dedicate a blog on how it goes with my son, since I get bored too much and I really want to write my thoughts down I will probably post more often.

introduction

I am Bibi, I come from the netherlands and I am a 23 year old mother and engaged to my boyfriend Roy. My son is 5 months and 3 weeks old, his name is Diablo, but he's more like an angel to me though, he is the best thing ever happend to me and he made me grow and grow so fast that sometimes I even startle myself how 'old' I am getting.

now what's going on in my life...

Since 2 months we live in a house, we used to live in a real small appartment, with only 1 bedroom to sleep in, so we slept with diablo on our room, which I don't mind actually, 'cause the first months I wanted him on my room anyhow. We have been very busy trying to make this house my little palace but I just keep on getting more and more ideas everyday.Oh how I would love to sleep on the attic, if we would've had a bigger window, cause the ventilation and light is minimalistic.

But today was a good day though, we finally got a door in our backyard so nobody comes in the yard. To me I waited for ages but when I talk with other people we seem to be fast... okay...?I just love it that we can sit in the backyard, and nobody looking right into my face you know? I just love to have my privacy .
Today we got lamps to hang above my dinertable, so we can finally sit there at night. We finally got a peg to hang our coats , I just went crazy of all them coats hanging over my chairs and eveywhere.Yesterday we had the last door painted and now only the skirtings has to be painted to finish the painting work.

I am on a diet, just started 3 days ago. It goes kind of well especially now roy is supporting me, he likes me the way I am , but I am way too heavy and it makes things real hard to do. I also wanna run with my kid when he gets older and I really want a correction on my tummy (tummy tuck?), I got way too much skin leaping over eachother and it starts to sweat, irritating and after no more than 1 hour of walking on a warm day I get an infection. I am tired of it and I know I can do it if I get the right support and not a man that says why are you trying to lose weight? He saw yesterday the red marks on my skin and explained that's why ( I never showed it though, I was ashamed...I know we even got a kid but still) I want to lose weight, I used to weigh 350lbs now it's 250lbs , I would just love to get to 180lbs and get the operation so I can just live a normal happy life. also not having to go to special stores to get a nice fitting pants or jeans that doesn't cut into my skin or something like that.

First thing I am going to do now, is getting calorie free drinks, cause that's where I get most sugars from. other foods I just gotta take a little less,and veggies for him with sauce and for me with no sauce ( I plan on getting loads negative veggies and I need some green apples too!) 'cause I can't let my man go on diet with me 'cause he's almost underweight so. But I really look forward to start dieting again!